Joe and I are in our 40s and have been married two years. Joe is a neat freak and
very annual when it comes to his night time ritual. His nighttime ritual consist of cleaning up before bed,
which takes an hour or more. Before we can even be intimate, this ritual MUST be performed, which rules out anything in the afternoon
or that's spontaneous when it comes to sex.
And for Joe to be a night owl you would think he would be all for a nice round of sex. I mean he is a man right?
Sometimes he goes straight from the shower to the Internet or reading, ignoring sex altogether, even if we planned it
ahead of time and talked about it while getting ready to clean up for the night.
Sometimes I'll even try to switch it up, dress up and get real fancy; you know role play a little bit just to break him from his routine.
But you know what he did. He just walks pass me and gets on the computer as if he didn;t see me. It makes me feel like
he's cheating with me with some girl on the internet!
I have fallen asleep many nights waiting for him, only to awaken hours later and see he's still not beside me.
When we discuss it later, he says it's a selfish habit he "got away with" in his last marriage. He enjoys sex but
becomes easily distracted.
Should we seek counseling for this or try something else? Joe displays all the signs of ADD and has since his childhood days.
-- FRUSTRATED AND HORNY IN SOUTH HOLLAND, IL